DEEP HURTING

That's what my brain experienced last night watching an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) taking on Red Zone Cuba, one of the 3 worst movies ever made. We are talking serious destruction of brain cells -- a black hole of a movie sucking every bit of logic from the universe.

MST3K was that cable show with the guys in silhouette in a line of theater seats at the bottom of the screen. The host Joel (and later Mike) and his two robots, Crow and Tom Servo, are stuck in a space station and forced to watch REALLY bad B-movies. To keep their sanity, they riff on it -- riotously funny running commentary, satire and general heckling.

Unfortunately not even their comic genius could keep this one from melting their brains, or mine. At one point the host Mike loses it and thinks he's Carol Channing because his brain has imploded.

I am still in shock at how very, very, very, very, bad that movie is.

Do NOT see it.EVER. Read the recap. Even better, have fun with this clip of Cave Dwellers. One of MST3K's best -- Mike and the bots give it the skewering it deserves. Let the mocking begin!

Spaghettification

"What the hell is spaghettification??" you say? Here's the explanation given by one of my heroes, Neil deGrasse Tyson, director of the Hayden Planetarium at the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan, and the coolest astrophysicist on the planet.
That is spaghettification. Death by black hole. I don't recommend it.


The above video is a brief excerpt from NOVA's The Monster of the Milky Way. It can be seen in full here.

A happy surprise

I never like to do things the same way every time. This includes making my mortgage payment. Sometimes I send a check, sometimes pay online, and when unemployed, I call it in and talk to an actual person. Good to keep them up to speed. "Yes, I am still looking for a job. Yes, I will be dee-lighted to call you when I get one." How the call goes depends on the person answering. Sometimes it ain't fun.

This month was different. A very kind and polite woman took the call. While she entered info we got to talking about my last job. Her dad was a mechanic at Boeing, so pretty soon we're talking airplanes. Turns out she loves them like I do!

She was telling me about her dad's planes and I was telling her about "my" 787 and how big the Everett factory is. She actually went online right then to check them out! The call took way longer than it should have, but we had a great time.Instead of the tense and uncomfortable conversation I was expecting, it was like a big ol' love fest for the lazy B. Talk about a pleasant surprise!

Thank you, anonymous Indymac Bank Lady, wherever you are! You totally made my day :)

Shakespeare is like crack...

For English majors, anglophiles, fans of the Renaissance, and lovers of the English language like me, Shakespeare can be addicting. Especially the language. After two solid weekends of seeing King John twice and Comedy of Errors three times, I'm finding it difficult to resist speaking in couplets or using words like thee and thou, anon, prithee, and methinks. I let loose with my cats, though, as they seem to like it. ;)

Must...resist...Elizabethan...speech forms...gasp!..choke...can't...oh no...

Prithee, gentle reader, return on the morrow to this my missive of the ether. Belike I shall post again anon.

:D

Wanted: Sidekick

I've decided my superhero alter ego needs a sidekick. For the time being, I'm co-opting the oddly brave and bravely odd Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter books.

I can't think of a more non sequiturial character.

Luna helping Harry out: "I’ll distract them all. Use your cloak. Oooh, look, a Blibbering Humdinger!"

"She’s slightly out of step in many ways but she’s the anti-Hermione. Hermione’s so logical and inflexible in so many ways and Luna is likely to believe ten impossible things before breakfast."
- J.K. Rowling, author

Her super transportation will be a Thestral, a scary, magical carnivorous horse-creature.

She's already got cool gadgets like SpectreSpecs.







So Luna it is, at least until J.K. Rowling's lawyers send me a cease-and-desist order.









All images: Copyright © Warner Bros. Pictures

Welcome

I have succumbed and joined the masses -- I think, therefore I blog. Until recently I had no interest in blogging, but then I used to have no interest in having a cell phone. I thought I'd feel like I had a ring through my nose, like a bull that can be dragged away from his pleasant reverie of chewing cud at any time by anyone. Now, of course, my cell phone is essential. Times change.

As anyone who has met me can tell you, I talk a lot. My mom always told me I'd been vaccinated with a phonograph needle*. In fact if you ever find me unwilling to talk, call 911 -- something's clearly wrong with me!
*The joke is becoming archaic. I actually had to explain it once to a 20-something.

I do have a habit of flitting from one topic to another completely unrelated topic -- the very definition of non sequitur. Some find it amusing and follow along quite well, while others find it disorienting with accompanying vertigo. (Your mileage may vary.) I defend this, though, as a sign of a highly creative nonlinear mind and a (possibly unintended) source of entertainment. Hence the birth of Non Sequitur Woman: Superhero!

But why a blog? I do have a lot to say, and I can't possibly jam it all into conversations without melting other people's brains. I leave that to River. So this is a place for me to put some of those random thoughts or topics down on virtual paper. Anything I find entertaining, thought-provoking, or that I think readers may find interesting. Above all, though, it will be RANDOM.

Hope you enjoy the results. Comments are encouraged. Especially random ones. :)

Cheers,

Annie aka Non Sequitur Woman

Still A Mystery...

Who is Non Sequitur Woman? What are her superpowers? How did she get them? Does she have cool stuff like nuclear throwing stars? And what about her outfit? Suggestions welcome! The wildest and most entertaining will be made an official part of her bio. Try this fun site for ideas. (Tip: she is HOT. She's my alter ego. I can do what I want!)

Ciao!